I promised to let you guys into my mind and what happens behind the scenes on a hoarding job. So, here I am sitting in the hotel a little after midnight thinking about the hoard I was in today. I’m having one of those nights where your mind is working harder than you want it to. I just want to chill out, but I just can’t stop thinking. I can’t stop thinking that I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I don’t want to pick up another dead animal or figure out if the poop on the floor is from a person or a really big dog that I haven’t seen yet. It’s hot, even at midnight. My sunburn hurts and I’m too tired to open a beer. My mind is in the same place that I was when I was just out of college and I had a real job. I’d sit in my bed on a Sunday night dreading a week of sitting at a desk in a suit. Just like 15 years ago, I should be sleeping, but instead I’m watching TV shows that don’t matter and I’m searching for something to make me happy.
What is making me feel so off tonight? I’m depressed. There’s nothing wrong with that, we all get depressed, but I’ve got a great life. I can’t give any details because this is a job that will be featured on “Hoarders.” So, I’ll summarize. This hoarder is a cool person, has had some hard times (really hard times) and I’m seeing pets and drugs as tools they use to make themselves feel better. I started to write this blog and wasn’t really sure where I was going with it, but i think I just figure this out. I’m not depressed about my life, I’m depressed about my hoarder’s life. It’s f-ing sad. This is a good person who has had some really bad cards dealt to them and they never had the family support that I have been given. I don’t know if I’m depressed or if I feel guilty?
Regardless of how I feel tonight, my job is to buck up, get some rest and be motivated to help this person tomorrow. It doesn’t matter how I feel inside, I have to help this person realize that they can have a better life. So what can I do to feel better?
Right now, I’m half way through the new Avett Brothers album. Someone just sent me a link to a Mumford & Sons song and Fallon will be on in a few, so that may help. If all else fails, I’ll watch some video’s of my son picking up Easter eggs (awesome, btw).
Alright, so I’m not depressed, i’m sad. Lets face it, we all know alot of people that have reasons to be depressed. I think I’m just sad because I may not be able to help this hoarder. This hoard is wearing me down. I guess sometimes life wears us down.
So that’s what’s on my mind after this hoard. How in the world, do I re-motivate myself in 6 hours to be present for this hoarder. How do I become completely devoted to them tomorrow. Your “hoarder” may be a spouse, a pet, a job, a friend or who knows. But how in the world do you get motivated and start fresh tomorrow when you simply don’t feel like it.
That’s my challenge to you. Ignoring the obvious (sex, booze and shopping), what positive things do you do to make yourself feel good? This doesn’t have to be anything monumental or amazing, I just want to hear what people do to get out of a funk.