On the front lines with extreme hoarders.
The Secret Lives of Hoarders is much more than harrowing tales of attacking the ugliest, dirtiest, and most shocking hoarding cases in the country. It is a behind-the-scenes look at this hidden epidemic- what it means, how to recognize it before it gets out of hand, and how to deal with it.
Through his work with hundreds of clients in the worst circumstances- from the giant “rat’s nest” that hid more than $13,000 in cash to a vast cache of cartoon pornography to twenty-five years’ worth of unopened mail-Matt Paxton has learned to understand this disorder and his clients’ impulses to collect, to speak the hoarders’ language, and to reach out to them with compassion and concern while avoiding criticism and judgment. Most important, he guides compulsive hoarders and their families successfully through every step of the clean-up and healing process.
The Secret Lives of Hoarders is an engrossing and sometimes unsettling look at extreme clutter but one that helps hoarders, their families, and their friends to find meaning in the chaos.
42 Responses to “Matt’s Book”
Lyn said...
There is always going to be someone who will try and make money by writing a book about other peoples misery.
Matt Paxton said...
I think it’s important for me to post all comments, positive and negative on this blog. That being said, I also hope the comments will be informed. Please read the book before judging my efforts.
Renee White said...
Matt-
Your book is awesome! It is so inspiring and hopeful. It flows really well. You did a great job. You are an inspiration to many, you get down in the trenches and help our seniors and persons with a disability without questioning. We thank you for all of your hard work and efforts not only in our community but around the world.
Keep up the good work!
Electra (Hise) Posada said...
“There is always going to be someone who will try” to judge others without knowing what they are talking about. I have not read the book, but will. I have mild hoarding tendancies, which my sister used knowledge of when writing this book, along with the severe cases that she encountered. She did not “exploit” me or anyone else. I was in constant contact with her during this time. If the show or book wanted to “exploit” people, they would just film the people and their mess and go away. They would not involve professional psychological help, which is required to understand and help change these people’s lives. And, as with any stigmatized habit or disorder, bringing light to the circumstance is the first step in getting help and acceptance from society.
Gavin said...
Will there be an audio version of the book?
Matt Paxton said...
I don’t know if there will be an audio version or not. I’ll have to ask the publisher. that being said, if you buy the book, I’m willing to read it to you over the phone.
Bird said...
Lyn,
You do not know what you are talking about. I am a previous client of Matt and his company. My house was such a mess that I sometimes wished it would just burn down. I was diagnosed with cancer at the same time that my husband was diagnosed with a terminal illness. We needed help from family and hospice. The condition of the house did not allow for that help. Matt and his partner worked their butts off to help us. They were kind, respectful, and compassionate. Did they make some money for their hard work? Yes, indeed. Was it enough? Probably not. There is nothing wrong with them making some money for their hard work. Would you work for free?
Okay, Matt, I am getting off of my soapbox. I know you can fight your own battles but I had to say my part.
In two weeks, I will know if I am still cancer free. Hospice has been a blessing in helping with hubby’s care. I hope that you and yours are all doing well.
You know my real name, thank you for not showing it on this post.
Loreta Sneddon said...
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JoyinVirginia said...
I really enjoyed the book, Matt! I also was really glad to meet your mother and grandmother at the book signing in Richmond. The book is a very good description of different types and stages of hoarding, and has practical tips for people who want to help a hoarder in their life. I think the most important point of the book, and the hardest thing for family and friends to understand, is that if the hoarder is not ready to change, is not invested in change then nothing you do will have a lasting effect.
The only complaint I have about the book is that it left me wanting MORE! We got vignettes, brief scenes from the lives of people who were dealing with all degrees of clutter and disorganization and hoarding. These brief descriptions are used to give examples of topics discussed in the book. I wanted to know more about the individuals and families involved. Matt does end the book with an update on several individuals and families he helped, and talks about their progress – or lack of progress.
Matt does share that names and details have been changed, and some stories have been combined, to protect the privacy of his clients. It really comes across how respectful Matt is of his client’s autonomy, and that he allows them to set boundaries. The client can choose how fast or how slow the cleanup goes, and the client definitely sets the tone.
As Matt’s grandmother says, “He has a good heart,” and this book shows that in every chapter. Overall a good read.
Mel said...
Hello Matt,
I started reading your book around noon today, and just finished it at 9:30 this evening. Good book! (And my compliments to Phaedra Hise, the book is an easy, engaging read.)
Thanks for giving me a look into the mindset behind hoarding. I find hoarding fascinating because it’s one of very few mental illnesses that has a clear physical manifestation. Addictions, depression, anxiety and the like run in my family, which share similar roots and mental patterns with hoarding, but aren’t nearly as visible from the outside. Researching hoarding has given me some insight into issues that affect me more directly.
I didn’t see it addressed in your book, does wearing a mask get in the way of connecting with your clients? I’m sure some kind of breathing filter is really necessary, especially for pros that spend a majority of their working hours in nasty environments, but how do the hoarders respond and do you have ways of allaying their fears? Also, how much ‘fake recovery’ do you see, in which someone goes through the motions of recovery, but drags it out as long as possible in an effort to keep their disorder and get attention and sympathy from people around them as well? I understand it’s fairly common in addicts to pretend to recover while still thinking they don’t really have a problem, does the same occur in hoarding?
Your compassion for your clients really shines through every page of the book. Thanks so much for understanding and explaining to the world that a person is not their disorder.
Meghan said...
Hi matt,
I am definately going to find and get this book!! You’re an inspiration for me, especially when it goes to controlling my own clutter. Good luck to you and your crew!!
-meg
Tracy in SC said...
Good review in “The Week” magazine. Wouldn’t have known about the book otherwise. Am I allowed to quote the review?
“As one reads The Secret Lives of Hoarders, it’s hard not to hear a small voice whispering, ‘There but for the grace of God…’” said Michael Dirda in The Washington Post. Anyone with a cluttered basement will be interested in the words of Matt Paxton, who runs a profitable home-cleanup business. Paxton takes readers deep inside the homes of hoarders while examining why all of us hold on to things we shouldn’t. The short answer: It’s about emotions, not stuff.
Diane in MA said...
Wonderful book! Matt shows such compassion and empathy for people most would write off as useless. I wish I had read this book years ago as I would have dealt with a family situation in a completely different way.
The book also made me look at my own tendency to hold onto family “treasures” that really have no significance for me other than they belonged to my grandparents and great-grandparents. I am slowing going through every space in my home clearing it of those things that have become burdensome. In place of the “things” in my life I’m finding something much more important – peace of mind.
Thanks Matt for being such an inspiration.
Tara said...
I am addicted to Hoarders and enjoy Matt’s banter with the people he works with. I struggle with hoarding myself but am working on it SLOWLY, backsliding is way too easy. I love the book, I need to return it soon to the library because there are holds on it!! I understand so many of the arguments/reasons people give for their hoarding, I have said them myself. But I know I can get to my dream life if i just keep working at the piles and not start another one. I need that life. Thanks Matt, you have been a great help to me.
Julie said...
I’m glad you took the time to write the book. It’s an excellent resource for people to gain an understanding of what is happening with a hoarder. I believe it is a “must have” for anyone who suspects they, or a friend/family member, might be a hoarder or have hoarding tendencies.
Brooke said...
I’m going to buy the book tonight after work, but if it becomes available on Audible in the future I would love to hear it read by Matt. His voice has character. I don’t know any hoarders, but I am obsessed with this show and businesses like Matt’s because it is a fascinating way to help people that I never would have thought of. That doing something as “simple” as cleaning can make such a difference in the lives of people who are hurting, kind of blows my mind.
Clare said...
I read the book in one sitting and loved it – thanks for your compassionate voice and fascinating insights!
Kate said...
I loved reading your book, Matt. You’ve given readers a compelling look at the pressures and pitfalls experienced by hoarders and their families, as well as hope for healing. Your can-do spirit and generous heart are an inspiration to who seeks to help others. A great read from start to finish!
This book stands alone among all the self-help and psychological approaches to clutter and hoarding. Reads like a novel. Unforgettable stories told with tremendous compassion.
Rob Santiago said...
Matt, just saw the episode on Hoarders where you were helping a man named Roi. I was shocked and appalled that you would refer to a grown man and especially a black man as “our boy Roi.” I believe you should reflect on your deep seated disrespect for people of color.
Thank you
Matt Paxton said...
If anyone took that comment as disrespectful, than I apologize, but I will stand strongly against the notion that I am disrespectful to people of color or ANY people for that matter. I have dedicated my life to helping ALL people, regardless of place, sex, color, faith or sexual preference. I have spent many of my years as one that was disrespected and in no place do I ever judge or purposefully disrespect any person or race. Specifically in Roi’s situation, I can’t think of a man I respect more. That man has worked his butt off to better his own life and has done the physical and emotional work needed to change.
That being said, I welcome any chance to bring up race in America today, because I do believe we are still in a very unequal place racially in America today. The fact that the word “boy” is perceived as racist is only proof of that concern. I can assure you that I have nothing but respect and admiration for my friend Roi. If for some reason a poorly chosen word says otherwise, I apologize, but I do not apologize for risking my life to help my friend Roy.
FlotSam said...
I find nothing disrespectful about what you said, and for Rob, I find your judgment incredibly “snap”. How could you ever know that anyone has such a “deep-seated” bias without knowing them, or observing more than one sentence out of an extensively edited piece of film?
Wonderful response by Matt.
Anyone who regularly watches and observes you can see your empathy to people all over the spectrum of social class, color, sexual orientation, and gender. Which is one of the reasons I admire you and your team. These folks are obviously more than just a job for you.
FlotSam said...
PS, good to see a Kindle that there is a Kindle edition available!
Colleen said...
Matt,
Will you be doing more appearances? Congratulations on your book and the incredible work you do. You are truly a gifted person.
Matt Paxton said...
Yup. I’ll be doing a bunch this fall. hopefully we are doing a speech/Podcast tour to a bunch of colleges later this year. Trying to hit about 20 locations. thanks for watching the show, reading the book and listening to the podcast.
Optimist said...
Hi Matt,
So thankful your 5 Decisions have moved in a positive way! Hoarders on A&E has become weekly “aversion therapy”. Looking back at my family’s habits, I see the 5 Decisions sneaking up, each time I resist buying something I don’t need or let go of trash/donations. So, I’m waiting for your book to hit our library’s shelf, so I can borrow it. Keeping myself off the Hoarder list, one box of de-cluttering at a time…15 minutes at a time. We can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes!
k k said...
Dear Matt,
I have been accused of being a hoarder. In fact, I believe myself to be a pack rat.
Truth be told, I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder, which makes it very difficult to clean. I, too, watch the show as aversion therapy. It motivates me to keep the piles from growing.
If I ever had to have someone come in to clean, I would pick you!!!!!
Keep up the good work!
Dan G said...
Your show has giving me a lot of good advice. I was never a hoarder however I had to much stuff. I have cleard out a lot of things I no loner use. I also sole off mybook colection.
Sandy said...
I read your book in one day it was so compelling. I’ve shared it with a lady at work who is praising so highly that I’m sure others will want to read. Sorry I’m reducing your sales, but your message is spreading.
I have been keeping my house a little cleaner. My cat is allergic to dust and sneezes if I don’t keep the dust away. I hate dusting, so doing a small area each day is a great way to do it.
Keep up the crazy work.
Stephanie said...
In response to Lyn “making money off someone else’s misery”. I’m sorry, but I don’t think you could be MORE WRONG. Hoarding is a very common, yet misunderstood, mental disorder. It is very real, and for people that have close relatives that are hoarders, people like Matt Paxton writing books and going on TV are very helpful because they are making the world aware of hoarding and the problems it causes and how to deal with them. My mother is a hoarder, but before the Hoarders TV show and related works, I just called her a lazy pig and basically had given up on her. We did a cleanout of her home but didn’t know that it was a disorder and that she really needed therapy too. Seeing it messy again just made us angrier. Now that we know what is really happening we are trying to help her and not just throwing stuff out (she will just rehoard if we do). Also, Matt’s podcast is very helpful…thanks for the idea of “10 minute sweeps”, it’s helpful with little kids, much less toys-everywhere now.
Sammy said...
Heard you on Jay Mohr podcast….nice one man, it was an engaging interview ….regarding the Guy complaining about the “boy’ comment….please use an iota of intelligence and take note of things such as body language, tone, context etc… There isn’t actually anything wrong with using the word unless it’s used with ill intent…and before you consider that I may be some old white guy with racist views…I’m not…I have dark skin and grew up with racism almost everyday of my childhood.
Dacia said...
Matt, I haven’t read your book as of yet, but I fully intend to. You are probably my favorite person on the “Hoarders” shows due to your empathy, wit… and the fact that you’re honest and straight up with people without disrespecting them. Not everybody has a talent for that, but you do!
Now, I was married to hoarder, and this is before “hoarder” became such a buzz word. My husband worked on a construction crew where he would have to go out of town sometimes. So, being fed up with his mess, I’ll haul it all, one car full at a time, to the local dump! Boy was he PISSED when he got home!! And can you believe in our little area of GA, we have had people that just “stopped by” to see us and if they did see the inside of our home, they blamed ME for not cleaning it up because I’m the woman! Believe me, I tried!
We’re no longer together. He lost his job, spiraled into a deep depression and then April 2010, a tornado pretty much blew away his home and destroyed his possessions. Well, I left behind a lot of my possessions as well, but I looked at it that it was just stuff, and it can be replaced. But he continued picking through the rubble every day for about 2 weeks and has filled up two 10×14 storage units of water damaaged crap! At least it is to me.
We’re still friends with each other, but I just had to remove myself from all of that. Now, the last time he invited me into his new apartment that he already cluttered up with his stuff, I told him I wasn’t going in there because I may never find my way back out. LOL!
It is a wide spread problem. And I wonder if it’s really genetic (because both of his parents, his sisters and his grandmother were all hoarders too) or if it’s simply learned behavior over the years? Maybe a little of both. I’m happier in my own clean place and I guess he’s happier where he is. And we just meet at public places if we have to meet for any reason. Anyway, that’s the Reader’s Digest condensed version of my story. I have lived in a hoarder’s house. I will say a lot of the shows were broadcasting more extreme cases than my husband’s, but it was bad enough that I experienced similar depression as some of the non-hoarding family members on the show. Anyway, keep up the good work Matt! Hope all is well with you and your Matt! Take care!
PS – Now you get to read MY book before I read yours huh?
Mike G. said...
Matt,
I’ve been a fan of Hoarders since the show started. Heard you yesterday on O+A and couldn’t get out of the car, it was a really great interview. Today I caught a few minutes of you on Rogan’s podcast and subscribed to yours in addition to buying your book. I listened to the first episode and just downloaded the next 22 episodes and can’t wait to listen!
I’m a big fan of helping others and think your doing a phenomenal job
Keep up the good work + i wish you much success
Josh Daunhauer said...
Matt,
I had my Sirius/XM dial set on Opie and Anthony’s channel last week so I could catch your appearance as many times as possible on their Works of the Week replays (you were #2, by the way, behind Chris Jericho of WWE fame. Not bad). I have watched you on Hoarders and truly respect your caring, compassionate, and at times necessarily firm demeanor toward the individuals being profiled. After I heard your story on O and A, I respect you exponentially more. I am a busy man but I promise I will catch your podcast every chance I can and I will be definitely getting your book.
Keep fighting the good fight, brother.
Mike said...
Matt,
Would you be interested in making a phone call to a messy worker of mine. She’s a fan. I just need someone to call her up and tell her to clean up all of her poop.
Best,
Mike
Betsy Kimble said...
I have not yet read the book ( but am looking to purchase it). I am an avid fan of the show ( even though I must admit some of the other cleaning pro’s personalities, get on my nerves) I took great offense to “Lyn”and her opinion ( but as they say, opinions are like rectums, everyone has one). Of course you should be paid for your services!! Like another person said “Who would do that kind of work for free?”. I couldn’t handle the malodorous air on a constant basis, no way.Just watching the show sometimes makes my stomach churn.
I was never a “hoarder” but an occasional “pack rat” ( for certain items) and have learned by watching the show, that saving old magazines ( for recipes & photos) or years of old documents from school or a job, or stacks of books ( that I read once) isn’t worth keeping. I have even down sized collections of things that I once viewed as very important! I do, have hundreds of photos that were in albums ( that fell apart) belonging to my late Mother, and don’t know quite what to do with them; ( I have sorted through them and have given brothers & sisters pix that pertained to them). Any ideas? Thanks for the great service you provide, and an excellent blog too.
JessGH said...
Thanks for being such a humanizing influence on the hoarding shows. You manage to bring the viewer into the situation personally without being judgmental. I hope you remember for every person you help on the show, there are probably 50 viewers taking that can apply those lessons to their own lives or to help loved ones.
Before watching you on TV, I never realized what a disorder this is and how many people have it. My grandparents were hoarders, and now I better understand why they may have done that, and how to look for signs in my own parents.
Have been listening to your podcasts, love ‘em!
Mary Davis said...
Matt-
You show so much compassion, I found myself also wanting to get to know these people. I have ADHD and am well on my way to being a full-fledged hoarder if I don’t change some things. I have problems with focus, priorities, decision making. Your book offers a strong ray of hope, a lot of empathy, tips to reversing this downward spiral, and valuable insight. Thank you.
S. Griffin said...
Matt, you are my favorite person to see on Hoarders, the A&E show. You make me laugh, you are the voice of reason, great in a crisis and you radiate compassion. You have a way about you that puts others at ease and brings a team together. You have a gift that allows you to connect with people on a human level. You are friendly, caring, humble, able to keep things light and lift others up in a bad situation, while maintaining a serious sense of duty. I am pleased to see that you’ve written a book and I look forward to reading it. Just wanted to say: keep up the good work!
Blackbeard said...
Matt, somebody in my family gave me your book, & I LOVED it. I saw myself in it in many places, & it helped me tremendously in starting to deal with issues. I tried to get your podcast (I don’t do I-tunes) but it wouldn’t come in.
You are kind, caring, compassionate & VERY CAPABLE. Your critics on this blog are all full of prunes. There’s NOTHING WRONG w/ getting paid for providing an INVALUABLE service. And the guy who called you a racist just for using the word ‘boy’ is one of those ‘professional victims’ who goes around turning over rocks to look for racial insults. Ignore them.
If you don’t mind a bit of constructive criticism tho, I’d point out that in many places the book’s somewhat repetitious, esp. the stories at the end. With a little better editing it could be cut to half its length w/o sacrificing any of the content.
THANK YOU & GOD BLESS YOU!
desiree said...
this guy is not doing it for the show he worried about the people who are doing harm to them and thee homes and then he counsel them and then clean and then when it done it a better environment they got to realize he there to hlep
krista grandstaff said...
Thank you for humanizing these situations…so many times these people live “under the radar” and are misunderstood…people see it as a laziness issue, and not one dealing with mental health.. your humor and pragmatism make the show a truly refreshing watch!
Marion said...
I am looking forward to buying your book. I have been watching Hoarders for several years, ever since my sister was found dead in her home. When I spoke with the ME she kept saying that she was a hoarder. I had no idea what the word even meant! She had been dead for a month and we will never know the cause of death. I am haunted by my own not knowing of her condition and must thank you for the helpfulness of your show. When family members state that they had “no idea it was so bad”;I truly feel relived that maybe I am not such a terrible person. For me the show is therapy..not entertainment. Thank you for what you do.